Mystery in Pun Land

The air in the kitchen was heavy. The most you could hear were whispers from the residents, who were trying to calm Rosa, still shattered from her fight with the clove. Garfulano, who knew nothing of what had happened, arrived with a greeting:

- Spoons! I'm here!

The other objects asked for silence:

- Easy now - said Facamigos - a cleaver who, however serious he might be, was not an insensitive fellow. - Rosa has been sad since yesterday afternoon.

- Goodness! What was wrong with her? - asked Garfulano.

- I'm Tinny! - said Lateca - a small can of baking powder who, so addicted to gambling, rarely paid attention to what was said near her.

- That's not it! - said Garfulano. - Rosa started crying yesterday and, from what I can tell, she's still sad.

- A plate of wheat always works for me! - said a triplet tiger.

"No, tiger cub! What's going to work now is a good dig at Cravo," said Geraldeira.

"You should be cooling things down, but you'd rather stir up the debate," it was Batedalva's turn to fan the flames.

That little spat was enough to set off total chaos. Some defended Cravo, accusing Rosa of falling apart over nothing. Others recalled that she'd been the only one to visit Cravo during his illness.

The temperature in the kitchen was sky-high. Fornoaldo had gone red and couldn't hold himself back any longer after hearing so much nonsense.

"Everybody quiet!" shouted Fornoaldo, smoke practically pouring from his mouth. "You're all wrong. Don't you see that Rosa's sadness has nothing to do with Cravo? Not this time." he finished, his voice breaking.

Silence, and crossed glances around the kitchen — nobody understood a thing.

"It's not possible that none of you have noticed his absence until now!" it was Rosa's turn to break the silence.

It was as if everyone woke from a hypnotic trance only to find themselves in a nightmare. Nothing more needed explaining — everyone knew who had disappeared!

"Gassombro, missing again..." murmured Fornoaldo. "This definitely doesn't smell right!"

"He must've been snatched by Butijão, the ghost snatcher!" replied Geraldeira, ever the pessimist, and just as low on freon.

"You really don't like him, do you?" asked Rosa, rhetorically.

"You know why I'm like this now, Rosa." said Geraldeira, starting to boil over. "Or are you going to tell me you don't remember what he did to me?"

"There's no point standing here arguing."

Pamela, the pot lady, says:

- How am I supposed to help, if I'm stuck in here in the cupboard?

- Wow, it's getting so hot in here... guys, I think Ghoulshadow is around here somewhere. But... how could he have gotten in if the cupboard is shut?

"Here you come with your personal problems again, Pâmela! Less! Pause!" said Batedalva.

Suddenly, Pi Ano, a circular calendar who loved music and had read kilos and even tons of books to interpret LiBraS, along with sign languages from all over the world, asked to speak:

"People! Relojóia wants to say something."

Gesturing and tick-tocking frantically, Relojóia laid out his opinion, while Pi Ano dubbed in his old voice:

"I doubt Gassombro's disappearance wasn't some scheme cooked up by these two..." — and stopped his hands on Batedalva and Fornoaldo, respectively.

"What do you mean?" shrieked Batedalva, indignant. "I'm just sitting here minding my own business!!!"

"Everybody knows that whenever there's trouble brewing in Trocadilândia, you're mixed up in it. And that one over there still owes me for what he did to me

Everyone turned toward Fornoaldo's door, where he was showing off a photo of himself tightly wrapped around a 2.40-meter-long feather.

"Another thing—" he continued. "Someone was with me and regenerated around the same time. Wasn't it, Patrícia?"

A reptile had just arrived at the scene, moving in a lopsided sort of way.

"Someone's arrived with a solution!" everyone shouted.

"*hic*! *hic*! *hic*!"

"What's going on now?" asked Garfulano, trying to hide from the strong smell.

"Didn't you all want a solution? I just produced three!"

"Not even regenerated and you're still coming straight out of the winepress, Tixa?" asked Fornoaldo tenderly.

"That's exactly where I 'wine' from! Ha ha," she said. "But before the scolding starts, what's got everybody all worked up, huh?"

"Actually," said Facamigos, stretching out his blade threateningly, "you were the only one who'd been away for a while. You'd better tell me where Gassombro is before I cut you into little pieces!"

"Cut away, sweetheart! Cut away! I'll just put myself back together! And I don't even go near the winepress or any other spots with drinks around him. He says I get way too fired up!"

"Right... Sorry..." said Facamigos, retracting the blade. "But do you at least know where he is?"

- Before cutting anyone down, it's worth straining the stories first - said Coalberto, still dripping.

- Tixa, where have you been wandering? - he asked.

- I've been walking over everybody, as always. Nobody notices who walks on the ceiling - answered Tixa.

- You

- Not that kind of whistle! - said Escorredoralina. - Something drier. More quivering...

At that moment, Janelilda opened up:

- I have always served everyone in this house, body and soul. But considering recent events, I must speak: Gassombro disappeared due to a slip on my part.

- A... slip?!?!?! - everyone said.

- Yes. I was watching the fight between the carnation and the rose and gnashing with anger. And then, now I remember... He passed by me and I don't even know where he is.

While Janelilda was still speaking, someone of feminine appearance rode past her:

- Hey! Have you seen Gassombro?

Before vanishing, the figure still answered:

- I know nothing about that.

However, the leather strap she was carrying fell from her hands, and it too was questioned:

- Where is Gassombro?

The answer came quickly:

- How would I know?

And then Pi Ano said:

- The Clockmaker's suggesting Tixa go look for Gassombro out on the veranda.

- Nice catch! - said the triplet tiger. I'll go with her, to protect her from any danger.

Patrícia, a bit more sober about the whole business by now, went along with the tiger. He, seeing there was no danger nearby, decided to sit down on the cushion that was on the bench and say a little prayer for the success of the search. At that very instant, from a hole in the cushion, he heard:

- Poof-prise!!!

- No way! - he thought. - The more I pray, the more Gassombration shows up!

From inside the cushion, Gassombro and his whole family, who had come to meet the residents of Pundland, came out through the hole. Roaring with rage and joy at

- Wisecracker! Just because she's mute, huh? - Rosa shouted from the kitchen. - And speaking of the carnation, where is he now? We fought, but we love each other!

Rosa then rushed out in a panic and found the carnation alone in some foul-smelling place.

- What are you doing here, my love?

- I've been down in the dumps ever since we fought! Don't leave me alone!

The two soon embraced, ignoring the thorns

After lunch with Gassombro's family, there was a meeting at the house. It was decided that:

Geraldeira, once out of freon, now had reinforcements and was always full of gas;

The mute daughter of the Carnation and Rosa gained the support of Pi Ano, who, every week, had a suspended fourth to rest and an augmented fifth for the extra work. This lasted until they found a house-plant doctor to examine the young girl's voice, since in Trocadilândia there were only doctors on call;

Relojóia got a new bell, and Fornoaldo was repositioned inside the house, sealing the friendship between the two...

But something was missing. Rosa had a curiosity that needed to be settled:

"Tiger!" she said. "You said that dishes made of wheat make you feel better when you're sad! Why?"

"Well, so as not to hurt the ones I love, I devour wheat in a wild and frenzied way. So, here is my confession...

I'm a cereal killer!"

THE END